just sparking controversy

its been a long week. i handled some business. i got to relax. && i lost a pound. yay  :)

most people that know me don't know the extent of my sexuality or my sexual beliefs, nor is it anyone's business. but... i encountered an odd question this week that i wanted to share.

it all started when i made the announcement to my significant other that i wanted to go to a particular adult show. an actress (porn star) that i'm very fond of was to be hosting the event. needless to say, my hunny referred to this particular actress as a "whore". This really upset me. i follow many blogs and other nonsense when i am a fan of someone famous and this girl stands out as someone who is casual, cool, nerdy, funny, and deeply and beautifully normal.

the comment turned into an all-out debate, disputing the decency of people, particularly women, in the adult film industry. it is much argued that women in the industry have a lack of self respect, an unfulfilled desire for attention, and are "whores". what a double standard that this nation holds when it comes to gender and equality. men who sleep with dozens, or even hundreds of women on film deserve a high five. women on the other hand, are trashy.
i do think it is especially hypocritical when people who watch porn argue that the people involved in the actual production are "nasty". is it not equally disgusting that you are watching a video of two (or more) strangers having sex as the people coming together to make the movie? are you less ashamed because you are watching it in private? does your preference of privacy make you superior to those that choose not to remain discreet? absolutely not. just as one may prefer amateur home video style porn over fetish porn or glam porn, people have the right to maintain a preference when it comes to their privacy or lack of.

obviously, this is all opinion. my opinion. and its quite apparent that i am a strong supporter of the adult film industry, which led to this question:
"would you allow your daughter to do porn?"
 now i already know that my answer may spark controversy among those that know me, or it may spawn a bitter feeling of disgust in the hearts of many mothers, but its MY opinion. my response to the above question was not a simple yes or no. i initially answered this question with another question. "would you allow your son to join the military?"

woah, woah, woah! not the same thing at all, right? hear me out. i am a strong supporter of porn. i am an even stronger supporter of the United States military. But how can someone say that permitting your son or daughter to stand on the frontlines of attack and supporting their decision to put their life at risk, with the possibility of taking someone else's life is better than supporting their child's decision to have safe, consensual sex with someone else?

i think that the answer to both is similar. do i want my son to join the military? no. would i support him and love him anyway, even if he enlisted without my permission? absolutely. the same goes for my daughter. i do not want her to do porn. ever. it may very well close a lot of doors for her in both her professional and personal life. she may spend many years full of regret. but if she should choose to make a career of it because it is something that she wants to do and has been properly educated and well informed on every possible aspect of this decision, then yes, i would stand by her.

i would be no mother if i left my daughter hanging because she made a decision that in the eyes of the world was less than desirable. matter of fact, if everyone's mother abandoned them due to a single "bad" decision or string of choices that they've made,  not one single person would still know their mother. everyone has the right to break rules. and everyone is different. and everyone is allowed to be. that's what makes us humans such an extraordinary race. we can choose. all of us.

in a nutshell.. would i let my daughter do porn? yes. :)
go ahead and judge. it is absolutely pointless.

Random starts

I started a blog, like, a long time ago. Then i moved and had no internet. Then i moved AGAIN and it took me a few months, but here i am. This "blog" is not really for any entertainment value or even for any purpose, but rather it is likely going to serve as a diary for me. a much faster than a traditional diary - diary. oh, and to make it even faster, i tend not to capitalize my letters or use much punctuation. im not fucking retarded. i know HOW to do it. i prefer not to so... please dont comment about that. its really pointless. shit still makes sense.

Anyway, this morning i had a dream that i was in a car crash. it wasnt like a weird, vague, regular dream. it was very realistic. and it was very fast. i dreamt that i was driving in my buick, on a road that i normally drive on. i was just cruising down the street and i could see everything passing via my [stellar] peripheral vision. trees whirring, parked cars, pedestrians, curbs - it was very specific. im driving in the far left lane next to the divider. a silver car rolls up on the right and tries to come over into my lane. and the idiot smashes into the median and i crash into him. there was nothing else. i was startled awake, gasping for air as if i had been holding my breath the entire duration of my sleep. for minutes, i lay panting, with my heart racing. and then i thought "well that was a stupid dream" and i went back to sleep.